satire

satire

Clear the Tracks! The Story You’re Reading Right This Very Moment Could Save Your Life Unless You Get Hit by a Train

Words
This was originally published in an issue of the Austin-American Statesman newspaper’s XL Ent entertainment magazine on April 22, 1999! ##### In my opinion, 90 percent of the ...
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The Wild Poop Beetle – Narrated by Ricky Tango, Jr. (Documentary)

Photos & Video
Our own Ricky Tango, Jr. narrates this beautifully moving glimpse into the rarely seen life of the humble wild poop beetle. Enjoy. The wild poop beetle. He scoots ...
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Welcome to Reality. May I Take Your Order?

Food Words
This was originally published in an issue of the Austin-American Statesman newspaper’s XL Ent entertainment magazine on October 30, 1997! This was the first piece I’d ever written ...
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Smoke Screen: Confessions of a Tobacco Junkie

Words
This was originally published in an issue of the Austin-American Statesman newspaper’s XL Ent entertainment magazine on July 24, 1997! You’ll be happy to know that I did ...
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Hand-Crafted Murdering Knives

Words
If my wife ever decides to murder me with a knife I’ll have plenty of time to get away, because first she’ll spend 3 days to a week ...
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Staying Fit During the Pandemic: 5 Tips from an Unqualified Nobody

Society Words
Staying physically fit during a worldwide pandemic can be difficult. Trust me. I’ve found it so difficult I haven’t even tried. I’m normally a very fit guy when ...
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How I Successfully Failed to Upgrade my Son’s Laptop

Technology
Science never ceases to amaze me. Why, just the other day science amazed me by making my 11-year-old son’s computer almost impossible to upgrade. Thanks to the impressive ...
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A FOOLPROOF Method for Finding a Mate

Society
Listen up single people. I came up with a sure fire pickup line that I’ll never be able to use.* The next time you’re chatting with a potential ...
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My 99% Invisible “Job Application”

Misc Words
I LOVE the 99% Invisible podcast hosted by Roman Mars. When I saw that they were hiring a new producer I immediately wanted to apply, despite having no relevant skills. ...
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Heavy Metal Nitpicks

Thoughts Words
I love heavy metal music. I really do. I love the heavy,  nasty, crunchy, aggressive guitar. I love the vocal growls, the vocal screams, the vocal melodies. I ...
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